


I Can't Lose You

by thekingslover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a fluffy ending, Established Relationship, M/M, end!verse references, fallen!cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:12:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekingslover/pseuds/thekingslover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean freaks out when he catches Castiel eyeing the painkillers in the medicine cabinet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Lose You

“I don’t understand you sometimes, Dean,” Castiel says. With arms crossed, he stands in the middle of the hallway, blocking any chance of escape.

Talking things out is important to Castiel now, after so many years with too many misunderstandings. Hell, it’s important to Dean, too, when in the reverse – when Castiel is the one hiding something. Right now, though? Dean doesn’t want to share. He doesn’t want to admit that when he walked in on Castiel eyeing the prescription painkillers in the medicine cabinet, he absolutely freaked. He doesn’t want Castiel to know the specifics about that 2014 verse he had once found himself trapped in. Dean doesn’t even want to think about it.

“Look, Cas, just let this go, okay?” Dean says.

Castiel’s frown deepens. “We promised, no more secrets.”

“This isn’t a secret, it’s just…” Dean trails when Castiel levels him a hard look. “Okay, maybe it is, but this one is important.”

“Dean Winchester,” Castiel says, nearly growling, and Dean knows he’s in trouble. That’s Castiel’s ‘I’ll send you right back to hell’ voice. Not that he would - not that he could anymore - but somehow that doesn’t make it any less intimidating.

Dean sighs. He doesn’t want to sleep on the couch tonight, especially not after this. He wants to hold Castiel and love him, and be there for him, and make damned sure that the fallen angel isn’t losing himself like he lost his wings.

“Remember the time that dick Zachariah sent me into the future,” Dean says. “I told you about it.” Sort of.

“You never spoke of me in this future.”

“No,” Dean says. His gaze drops to the ground. “No, I didn’t.”

“I was there,” Castiel says.

“Yeah.”

Castiel uncrosses his arms and places his hands on Dean’s shoulders. When Castiel speaks again, his voice is calm - tender even. “The pills?”

“I’m sorry, Cas,” Dean says, and yeah, he’s sorry for startling Castiel so bad that he dropped the pill bottle into the sink. But he’s also sorry that some version of him wasn’t there for Castiel in an alternative future. “I could have handled it better.”

Castiel touches Dean’s cheek with his palm. Dean’s eyes dart upward to find two blue ones locked onto him. Those eyes – Cas’ eyes – so wide and honest and trusting.

“You’ll tell me, right?” Dean asks. “You’ll come to me if… If it gets too much? I can help, Cas. I don’t know how but I can –”

The press of Castiel’s lips against his silences him. Dean leans into the warmth of Castiel’s closeness, wrapping his arms around the fallen angel’s shoulders as Castiel’s fold around his waist.

“I can’t lose you, Cas,” Dean whispers into the curve of Castiel’s neck when their kiss has broken.

Castiel leaves kisses in Dean’s hair on his path to Dean’s ear. “You won’t,” he breathes there. “I promise, you won’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> 5.10.13 - First posted on my tumblr, same name. :3 Thank you for reading!


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